Fly on the wall

“Vivre pour aujourd’hui, mais n’oubliez pas de hâte à demain” It means “Live for today but don’t forget to look forward to tomorrow.”

So it has been a long day. I’ve been out of my mind tired, this guy won’t leave me alone, and I just need time to get away. It would seem that having a boyfriend matters in that when he’s around, I don’t get picked on nor bothered. Oh well. My grandparents are doing much better. his guy, Edy, is my new bff. Unfortunately, I think he likes me though. He’s been hinting all night but hasn’t had the courage to ask me out. At least, that’s what I’ve been picking up on. Rehearsals for Alice In Wonderland were fun. My dance partner from Bye-Bye Birdie now has a sword fight to portray with yours truly. It shall be interesting. I’m attending CYC this weekend with my youth group. All in all, doing better. Hoping to improve even more soon.

The worst part isn’t not being to kiss him or see him as mine. The worst part is knowing he’s so far away, not just physically but emotionally,too; it’s not being able to hear his heartbeat and feel its rhythm step into sync with my own…<3

Hearing people say that if he chooses to end it or if blah blah blah” only makes me doubt myself more. No one wants to hear that they can do better or there’s someone else. Because if they love the person they’re with, they want to be with that person and no one else will be as perfect as that person. To me, there is no one better…<3

I may be young but I know one thing above all else, beyond doubt, n matter what. He. Is. Everything. Without him, I am no more than a body without a soul. He is the one reason I am alive, the one reason scars are fading. The only reason I can love. Without him, I suffer. Without him, I am not me. Yes, eventually I may move on but I will never be able to love like I love him. And now, I can’t even tell him how much that is…<3

Q: Why are some girls lucky and find someone in high school while most don’t?

A: Honestly, most guys just happen not to be douches. I know it’s hard to believe but you really don’t have to find that special someone so early on. I’m not saying its not going to happen, but chances are you’ll find him later on. There’s someone for everyone. Don’t worry so much about it now. Live for today but don’t forget to look forward to tomorrow.

I have a lot on my mid and I realize how girly and childish some of my earlier posts were. That is (hopefully) going to change. I would love to have people send me a message asking a question for me to answer. It could be interesting. However, in my next post, I’ll already be answering about 3 that some of my friends have. Since I have so much to think about, I’m definitely going to be blogging more. Well, I’m going to try to at least…

Okay so i know I haven’t posted in close to forever. Now I guess I should catch anyone who actually reads these up. My boyfriend and I (who have been together fr 1 year 2 months) are currently on a break. Not going into that because it just started Thursday and I’m not exactly ready to talk about it. I will say that we are not seeing other people. His mom is awesome btw. She’s really helped a lot eve though she really doesn’t have to. I love him and all of his family and he does still love me. that much, I know. ANYWAY. I got this new laptop for Christmas. Yes. I am aware that you can’t actually see it. I just thought you should know how much awesome you are currently missing. On a sadder note, my grandfather on my mom’s side, D-daddy, has been in the hospital for a little over a week and came home yesterday. His wife, who has Parkinson’s disease, had to be taken to Riverwick, the local nursing home. She’s scared and feels lonely and I felt awful because I couldn’t go when they took her due to stupid sickness. She is only supposed to be staying for 9 days but we don’t know for sure yet… I know she is scared and my sister and I plan to spend the day with her tomorrow. Please keep us in your prayers if you pray and if not, do whatever it is you do when you want someone to get better. The chances are low, I know, for her to get any better. Honestly, she’s been getting progressively worse. She’s sad and I wish I could help her but I know I can’t.

Kelsey- A very smart, sweet girl with lots of things on her mind. She may seem distracted a lot and that’s because she is most of the time. Very creative and sometimes shy, she always has to have music on. silence is her only weakness. She doesn’t think she’s attractive but in reality she’s the most gorgeous thing you’ll ever meet. often spaces out when near windows. always contemplating something. sugar junkie. very pale and doesn’t care. easy to get along with. everyone loves her. stands up for her friends and would never hurt anyone intentionally. cares too much. picks the wrong crowd. not easily influenced. has soo much planned for her. remember her, she’ll be widely known soon. if you fall in love with a kelsey don’t ever let her go. she likes playfighting. looks like the nost innocent person alive but can be the sexiest, kinky little thing if you get her to that stage. likes being pushed to do better. always looking after those around her.

omg, im soo in love with this girl she’s perfect. 
ahh you must have caught a kelsey. good job man, you’re lucky.